Words
I decide to write here, a semi-public internet canvasIf anyone sees this please don’t let me know you’ve seen this
Oct 8, 2023 ︎︎︎
I’m thinking how useless if I am a designer. As I become more and more pessimistic, I think there’s only so little for us to produce and create, instead, so much to reduce and simplify, but how to become less poor than myself now. We are animals, animals, animals. And the fact I was hating the future was stupid. animal.
June 26, 2023 ︎︎︎
I have an idea, I’ve had lots of ideas, but only few, few might also be an exaggeration, could become something. I’m thinking I’m looking at some connection between ancient cultures and history, but it could also solely be coincidence.
June 9, 2023 ︎︎︎
I think I have a need to escape, it’s ridiculous. Whenever I see a immigration chance, I’ll waste my time applying for it. I’m thinking having a baby but it’s all based on selfish desires - me wanting to experience life in a more complete way.
May 30, 2023 ︎︎︎
I had a dream about me got invited to a book fair, and I chose to bring a book called Good Religion.
One bad thing about going to school is that it takes away my ability to measure accomplishment by time. The ability to feel time. Semesters goes and my diploma will arrive on time or a bit before, semesters end and I will have credit for what I’ve learnt. Friends been telling me I really should get a Dr’s degree, maybe I’m just lazy, maybe I’m a coward.
Social Media and Fragmented Thoughts ︎︎︎
People are too eager to put content on social meida, me included. Painters or illustrators go live to show how they work, and writers start to write mini blogs. Although I love the format of The Book of Disquiet, I don’t think it’s still good if viewed as a personal blog. Feed is fragmented, and so is the information, thus my time. I once told my mom that I tried to force myself into a more time-consuming hobbies, for example, I would choose a movie over a drama series. But as I’m rejecting these short but strong stimulation in my brain, I saw an article about how older people are less likely to get dementia if they are into social media. Maybe I’m becoming the kind of person who rejects internet, but maybe I’m the kind of person who rejects plastic?
May 25, 2023 ︎︎︎
I tend to have multiple beginnings of essays I want to talk about but end up with a nonsense sentence like this on screen.
About art and Relationship ︎︎︎
First I’m starting to hate the word art. For its ambiguity and also for its abused usage. Part of thei word includes self-expression. Musicians can work together to perform a good piece, but composer usually work alone. Does artists (Let me use this word just for now before I find another/better replacement) benefit from relationship? I’m currently in a relationship, a passionless but not peaceful one, anything can become the trigger while I’m trying to stir things up a bit. If this relationship is liquid, it’s becoming stickier over time. I hope it could burst some day, or maybe today is the day. The things I’m thinking is that if having another person is a help when it comes to self-expression. I mean, having an outlet for my emotion might weaken the strength I leave my work on paper or on a podium. However, the reason I creatte, I paint is to somehow resonate with my audience. (After I typed this sentence I found myself ridiculous, self-expression shouldn’t do with the desire to communicate. When the leaf fall, it has nothing to do with what people think about the scene. - Can I summerize my point as art is objective and self-expression is subjective?) Other peoople, or another person can resonate with my work, but it has nothring to do with me. Going back to what/how I’m affected by relationship. I hope it’s still my decision to choose a way to express. I definitely fell that I have less desire to put myself to a page or other physical medium, meanwhile I get to express anyways. So the conclusion about “you are not making/producing” shouldn’t have anything to do with not making/producing. Only thing is that I’m not leaving trace for myself, but think antoher aspect, I wrote these down, and probably (very unlikely though) someone sees this. It’s art now. If I burn this paper, this is solely paper, my useless contribution of entropy to the universe. We are born to be the happiest person, don’t let time make things complicatied, we’re all going to die, no jealous, no anxious.
I’m thinking how useless if I am a designer. As I become more and more pessimistic, I think there’s only so little for us to produce and create, instead, so much to reduce and simplify, but how to become less poor than myself now. We are animals, animals, animals. And the fact I was hating the future was stupid. animal.
June 26, 2023 ︎︎︎
I have an idea, I’ve had lots of ideas, but only few, few might also be an exaggeration, could become something. I’m thinking I’m looking at some connection between ancient cultures and history, but it could also solely be coincidence.
June 9, 2023 ︎︎︎
I think I have a need to escape, it’s ridiculous. Whenever I see a immigration chance, I’ll waste my time applying for it. I’m thinking having a baby but it’s all based on selfish desires - me wanting to experience life in a more complete way.
May 30, 2023 ︎︎︎
I had a dream about me got invited to a book fair, and I chose to bring a book called Good Religion.
One bad thing about going to school is that it takes away my ability to measure accomplishment by time. The ability to feel time. Semesters goes and my diploma will arrive on time or a bit before, semesters end and I will have credit for what I’ve learnt. Friends been telling me I really should get a Dr’s degree, maybe I’m just lazy, maybe I’m a coward.
Social Media and Fragmented Thoughts ︎︎︎
People are too eager to put content on social meida, me included. Painters or illustrators go live to show how they work, and writers start to write mini blogs. Although I love the format of The Book of Disquiet, I don’t think it’s still good if viewed as a personal blog. Feed is fragmented, and so is the information, thus my time. I once told my mom that I tried to force myself into a more time-consuming hobbies, for example, I would choose a movie over a drama series. But as I’m rejecting these short but strong stimulation in my brain, I saw an article about how older people are less likely to get dementia if they are into social media. Maybe I’m becoming the kind of person who rejects internet, but maybe I’m the kind of person who rejects plastic?
May 25, 2023 ︎︎︎
I tend to have multiple beginnings of essays I want to talk about but end up with a nonsense sentence like this on screen.
About art and Relationship ︎︎︎
First I’m starting to hate the word art. For its ambiguity and also for its abused usage. Part of thei word includes self-expression. Musicians can work together to perform a good piece, but composer usually work alone. Does artists (Let me use this word just for now before I find another/better replacement) benefit from relationship? I’m currently in a relationship, a passionless but not peaceful one, anything can become the trigger while I’m trying to stir things up a bit. If this relationship is liquid, it’s becoming stickier over time. I hope it could burst some day, or maybe today is the day. The things I’m thinking is that if having another person is a help when it comes to self-expression. I mean, having an outlet for my emotion might weaken the strength I leave my work on paper or on a podium. However, the reason I creatte, I paint is to somehow resonate with my audience. (After I typed this sentence I found myself ridiculous, self-expression shouldn’t do with the desire to communicate. When the leaf fall, it has nothing to do with what people think about the scene. - Can I summerize my point as art is objective and self-expression is subjective?) Other peoople, or another person can resonate with my work, but it has nothring to do with me. Going back to what/how I’m affected by relationship. I hope it’s still my decision to choose a way to express. I definitely fell that I have less desire to put myself to a page or other physical medium, meanwhile I get to express anyways. So the conclusion about “you are not making/producing” shouldn’t have anything to do with not making/producing. Only thing is that I’m not leaving trace for myself, but think antoher aspect, I wrote these down, and probably (very unlikely though) someone sees this. It’s art now. If I burn this paper, this is solely paper, my useless contribution of entropy to the universe. We are born to be the happiest person, don’t let time make things complicatied, we’re all going to die, no jealous, no anxious.